Lament of the Sober Introverted Lark

This is a crested lark.

This morning I woke up at 4.10am; I also got up almost immediately. This is not unusual.

This morning I also enjoyed spending time alone with some roleplaying stuff (my hobby) and didn’t begin to interact with another person (my wife) until 7am. Three hours alone and very happy; that’s not unusual either.

Finally, I’d like to mention that in the last week I drank zero alcohol. More than that, I drank no alcohol in the previous month. This is not unusual. I’m not tee-total… I just prefer to be sober.

So what?

For years, I have felt I should accept the labels of being weird, abnormal, and boring because of the three character traits that lie behind the facts above. This is, of course, a ridiculous state of affairs.

I am a person who prefers sobriety, time alone, and the early mornings instead of drunkenness, time with people, and late nights. This is my lament to those who label me negatively because of this.

Drinking Culture Is Stupid!

The predominant culture regarding alcohol in the UK is, frankly, stupid. It champions the idea that at least once a week (often two or three times a week) a person should go out with friends and seek to drink as many units of alcohol as possible, in the shortest period of time. Whoever drinks the most and stays standing longest is hailed as a person of high stamina and consequently as having a fine moral character: what a great fellow, a fun lass, and a generally all-round good egg you are!

Bunkum!

The UK Government advises that:

“…that there’s no safe level of alcohol consumption. Unit guidelines are the same for men and women and both are advised not to regularly drink more than 14 units per week.”

It’s a fact that:

“If you have one or two heavy drinking sessions you increase the risks of death from long-term illnesses, accidents and injuries.”

And you are advised to try:

“- Limiting the total amount of alcohol you drink on any occasion.

– Drinking more slowly, drinking with food, and alternating with water.”

Here’s the helpful DrinkAware.co.uk graphic:

Sobriety is a choice that I make because I don’t particularly like being out of control… and because I am not stupid.

People are Hard Work!

I am introverted:

“Introverts often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, using computers, hiking and fishing… An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though they may enjoy interactions with close friends. Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to introverts is choosing a worthy companion. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate… They are more analytical before speaking.  Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement, introversion having even been defined by some in terms of a preference for a quiet, more minimally stimulating external environment.”

To be clear:

“Mistaking introversion for shyness is a common error. Introverts prefer solitary to social activities, but do not necessarily fear social encounters like shy people do.”

For me, people are hard work. As a teacher, I have proven many times that I am capable of being highly sociable and of interacting for extended periods of time, and most of the people I work with (adults and children) openly laugh when I say that I am introverted. This shows the ignorance of introversion that arises from the tyranny of extraversion.

For a really good case arguing that modern Western society undervalues introversion read Susan Cain’s, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking“.

I recharge alone. I recover mental energy by doing solitary things. This is not unusual in human beings… it’s just a trait that I’ve spent my life trying to hide in the face of the repeated mantra that if you’re not a party person then you’re boring.

Bunkum!

Getting Up at 4am is Not Weird!

One book I recommend all folks to read is Richard Wiseman’s “Night School“. This is where I was finally able to put a name on my sleep preferences: my chronotype is “lark“:

“A lark, early bird, or morning person is a person who usually gets up early in the morning and goes to bed early in the evening.”

I seem to function quite well on around 7 hours sleep most days, but it’s best to get 8 hours. Thus, getting up at 4.30am (as we do for work) means I need to go to bed by around 9.30pm.

Almost everyone I know seems to believe that this behaviour is weird, abnormal, and “weak”. Yes, I’ve been called “weak” for sleeping 7 hours, mostly because I went to bed at 9pm. This is, of course, bunkum!

We live in a culture that prizes the “night owl”, the person who stays up until midnight (or later) and wakes after 7 hours (or more)… say at around 7am. Extroverted “owls” also prize the all-night party (usually an alcohol-fueled binge) that leaves them incapacitated until well-past midday. Apparently this behaviour is equated to “strength”.

We all need some 8-10 hours of sleep. Most of us sleep less than this and are at least mildly sleep-deprived, a state that is dangerous – see the aforementioned book.

I am no more or less virtuous than you in my sleep; I simply wake early and, as a consequence, turn in early too.

While you’re asleep I’m up writing, reading, and enjoying my quiet morning; while I’m asleep you’re out tearing up the night (or whatever) in the noisy evening air. Why is it that I’m labelled as “weird”?

Bunkum!

So…

Stop ragging on people who don’t drink like fish, find people hard work, and who get up early! Show a little respect for the fact that we’re different! Give up on your prejudices!

‘Nuff said.