My earlier article, Of Scientism, Christianity, Hypocrisy and Lies, gave a rambling overview of my own early challenges in asking the question, “What is spirituality?”
Today I’d like to unpick some of the things that lay behind by own dabblings in the use of the Runes, Tarot and Ritual Magick. Readers may also be surprised to hear that these are not merely fascinations from the past but are continuing interests which speak to the heart of what it means to be spiritual.
What Is Spirituality?
Frankly, that is a big question. Most people believe that spirituality differs from person to person, and is an intrinsically personal thing. I think that view is a load of rubbish. I also believe that every human being, whether they admit it or despise it, is in some way spiritual. So, what am I talking about?
Sue Phillips, that Religious Education teacher of ‘Theatre of Learning’ fame, encourages teachers to ‘devise an experience for your pupils which will enable them to get in touch with their own needs’. She further defines this as their need
‘For quiet reflection, to feel grateful, to be aware, to forgive, to repent, to celebrate, to create and experience symbolically when words fail, to act out significant moments in their life story, to tell their own story, to be understood and accepted by their community, to have special places, to share powerful feelings, to feel connected to their own feelings and to those of people around them’ (Phillips, S. (2003) Making RE Make Sense)
For me, Sue’s long list is a catalogue of the ‘inside bits’ that all people, not just children, need to come to terms with.
I view the worldwide desire to connect on Facebook as a means to tell our own story, to be understood and accepted by our community, and to be connected to our own and others’ feelings. What is my own blogging if not an attempt to quietly reflect and to share powerful feelings, or to be understood and accepted by the readership? This is all a deeply spiritual act and one which resonates deeply within the core of the human being.
Spirituality, then, is what lies within. It is identifying with it, talking about it, reflecting upon it, and connecting to other peoples’ expressions of their own inside bits. It is discovering and sharing our story.
Even atheists do it, even if they’d prefer to deny it. Anyone who has ever acted upon that list of inner needs is indeed a spiritual person. It may be intangible, it may be messy… but it’s real.
Why Does Scientism & Christianity Fail?
For me, reflecting back on my story last article, it’s important to address this question of why those big socially endorsed choices failed.
Scientism promises progress and achievement through the processes and enlightenment of the natural sciences. It is, at heart, the materialist gospel that hopes for humanity to rise above the petty superstitions of yesterday through a commitment to the rational, measurable and technological. It precisely fails to engage with our spiritual needs because Scientism admits no need for reflection, gratitude, forgiveness, repentance, celebration or symbolism; what significance is a single human life in the great march of progress, save for those of scientific achievement?
For a young man who struggled with the empirical, who could not wrestle and win with mathematics, the gospel of Scientism was an empty hope. It entirely failed to speak to my heart, my soul and my spirit… and that’s because, for the believer at least, these three things are illusions that do not exist, at least beyond the material. In the end, these beliefs left me feeling like I didn’t exist.
Stuffy Christianity came next. Imagine that musty and comfy rural Church of England chapel with its Vicar and Curates, sleepy with the ritual of Sunday worship. Surely this would hit the spiritual target? I’m afraid not.
Mainstream Christianity precisely fails to address the inner human spiritual needs when it is dressed up in too heavy a burden of liturgy. Who can decode the mysterious symbolism of the rituals unless they are explained to them? How many churches permit, even encourage, open explorations and expressions of individual gratitude, repentance, forgiveness, reflection, celebration and feelings? In my experience, even to this very day, churches shy away in embarrassment from honest tears, loving affection, listening to the needs of others, and chastising behaviour that is counter to the teaching of Jesus of Nazareth.
You are encouraged to go with the flow, to stifle your individual feelings and questions, to join with the liturgy even when you don’t understand it, and to jolly well make sure you paper over every imperfection in your life with hypocrisy. In the end, this pale shadow of true spirituality left me cold and allows Priests to have affairs, abuse children, and to live out a lie.
Why Turn To The Occult?
I’m guessing that my Christian friends, and even readers from other faith groups, are likely to be feeling very uncomfy with the mention of the ‘occult’. Bear with me.
Occult means ‘hidden’, referring to secret knowledge or wisdom. The word has been laden (mostly by the Christian church) with tags such as ‘evil’, ‘witchcraft’, ‘devilry’ and ‘wrong’. The occult is to be avoided and to be persecuted. And that’s exactly why I love to study it.
Here’s my logic: If something is feared then it has very real power over those who fear it. If something has power enough to be feared then why not study it and find out what all the fuss is about? If nothing else, the mere fact that you know about what is being feared gives you power over those who fear it. Simple.
The occult, at least for me, equated to power. Power over myself, my drives and emotions, and power over other people. Strangely, even those who deny all spirituality are significantly engaged by any claim of occultism to have power in reality. People are either deeply superstitious, and thus susceptible to their fears, or profoundly offended by the idea of spiritual power, and thus susceptible to their anger and pride. What better way to gain power over others than by tapping into their fear and loathing?
Of course, underneath all the misunderstandings and superstitions from church-goers and folk who haven’t a clue, the realities of the occult are rather more prosaic. But don’t tell anyone I said that… it’d spoil all the fun.
The Tarot
You can read a lot about the claimed origins of the Tarot online or in books. Frankly, most of it is likely to be rubbish. Yet, in our individuated world, whatever you care to believe is fair enough, so I’m not getting into that debate.
I got into the Tarot for two reasons: curiousity and beauty.
I was curious about the rather extreme reactions and claims made for the Tarot, especially by ignorant adults, and I was rather attracted to the beautiful artwork. Actually, I still collect Tarot Decks for precisely those reasons – most especially because I love the artwork.
Here’s why Tarot connects me spiritually:
Firstly, the act of making a spread of Tarot cards connects me immediately to my own subconscious interpretative core that is seeking to make sense of my own story, feelings and sense of place. That is to say that, when reading a Tarot spread, I am exposed to what is most deeply bothering me because the symbols on the cards, and their nominal meanings, help me to tap into the unconscious fears and drives that are roiling within.
Additionally, as I explore these symbols and my reactions, I gain awareness of my feelings and my connection within the community and place I’m in now. There are equivalences in other ritual acts but, for the emergent teenager, Tarot cards offer a good means to gain a sense of one’s spiritual self whilst exercising the desire to rebel against control.
Serious practitioners of the Tarot also discover the truth of my own belief that reality is fundamentally malleable… because reality is primarily experienced inside our minds.
I’m not, by the way, suggesting that everyone go out and buy a Tarot deck. Far from it for me to recommend any spiritual tool that sits mixed up with so much rubbish and superstitious nonsense as does the Tarot. Yet, by explaining my own connection to the Deck, I hope to open your eyes to the attraction to such things. For many people, Tarot allows for reflection, gratitude, repentance, self-story, exploration of feelings, making sense of key moments in life, and so much more.
Disregard such things as worthless and you are disregarding those people who value such things as worthless human beings too.
Runes
The Runes came next. Or, more precisely, the modern reconstruction of the Futhark Runes, which includes the very modern blank rune. Not got a clue what I am referring to? That’s ok… it’s not really that important right now.
For me, the attraction was bound up with a sense of place and of identity. I was living in rural Norfolk, in England, which is a region renowned for its Viking and Saxon heritage. The Runes are connected to that now largely lost tradition of spirituality which helps a person to connect to the heritage which Christianity crushed. Whether you view Anglo-Saxon and Nordic beliefs to be valid or not, once again we are encountering a symbolic tool for tapping into a sense of self.
Much of what I wrote regarding the Tarot applies to the Runes: one can tap into the unconscious, find patterns in one’s reactions to the symbolic meanings revealing by a casting, and gain clarity of mind about matters of the spirit. Instead of some nebulous ‘out there’ and distant concept of God, you are transported into a tangible and real ritual of exploration. The main addition, of course, was that Rune Lore also allowed me to tap into my own heritage and a broader story.
Why do people spend so much time and money tracking down their ancestral tree of family connections? I believe it’s as much to do with one of those spiritual needs as with anything else. Curiousity about your story, about your origins and place in time, lie at the heart of such quests. It was similar with the Runes for me; here was a route back to the priestly traditions of a lost age. It probably explains why I ended up dressed as a Viking warrior on the fields of Maldon, re-enacting battles from the period.
Ritual Magick
Now we come to the bit that will really make most Christians squeak. From the Tarot and the Runes I progressed, after much reading and tracking down of texts, to the practise of Ritual Magick.
Magick is, to roughly paraphrase Crowley, the exercise of the will to effect change in reality. Basically, Magi seek to create effects in the world around themselves. This is often imagined in literature quite dramatically, as in the vulgar casting of lightning bolts in Fantasy novels or the application of a Love Potion in the romantic genre. In reality, as I said before, most occultism is very much more prosaic than you might think.
I was attracted to the Art, for that is what it should really be called, because it promised power.
Initially, I could taste the power of other people’s fear and reactions; later I could experience the power of effecting change in reality. Of course, being a naive teenager raised to reject any belief in the supernatural or spiritual, I found it very hard to really feel worried about the so-called Black Arts. Summoning non-existent Demons to do one’s bidding doesn’t seem very worrying if you don’t believe in Demons. Forgive me if this sounds silly, but I was soon disabused of my atheism regarding the demonic as I experienced more and more strange and wonderful things in the Craft.
Right now I’m going to park the details of Ritual Magick. Anyone genuinely interested can contact me directly. I say this because, if you are interested, then you will need to get past the rubbish. There are some specific sources of information that have a strong resonance and some truth to them… and I’d hate for the seeker to land themselves in useless drivel when there are better places to begin. That being said, I would always reject the Black and I would discourage even the Gray… which leaves only the White, which most people disregard as dull.
Instead of delving deeper, I want to explain why Ritual Magick resonates.
It’s not, as I may have rather simplistically commented, simply a matter of desiring power. In a world in which the spiritual is suppressed and ridiculed, Magick offers a pathway to ritual and symbolic understanding. It taps into the need for reflection, celebration and awareness. It also provides a means to express oneself symbolically when words fail. Finally, it offers a sense of place and helps you to construct your own story. Of course, you join a secretive and threatened community but you do at least feel as though you belong somewhere. Despite the apparent weirdness of such practices, Magi actually make a lot of sense to me.
All in all, the journey into the occult was and remains a journey into the self, into meaning and identity, and into truth.
What Can You Take From All This?
Perhaps, if you are worried by such things, you can feel some sense of understanding for those who practise the Tarot, Runes or Magick. If you are a practitioner then perhaps you may be prompted to reflect on what you are doing and why. Overall, my hope is that you will realise the connection between all spiritual practices and the basic human needs that we introduced at the beginning.
Did I ever give them up? No, not entirely.
While it is rare for me to draw out a deck of Tarot or the bag of Runes, I still own them. They are things of beauty that enthrall me with their colour, texture and scent. They are also part of my story, my spiritual journey. I won’t abandon that which has brought me so far.
Do I condemn these practices? No, not entirely.
I don’t recommend them because I don’t think they are very well understood, even by those who claim to understand them. They are personalised tools of a spirituality that has a place within a more widely crafted religious expression. For this reason I have more respect for Druids and Wiccans than I do for those who merely collect such tools as I once did. As for the claims of Tarot Readers who charge money for their service… well, they are to be avoided.
What, then, I am recommending? Nothing. And everything.
What I am suggesting is that, like it or not, there is a spiritual ‘inside’ of you. If you are not already fulfilling your needs then you need to allow yourself permission to explore them. I’m not suggesting any one path of exploration. I am simply showing you that my own path was understandable and, ultimately, has led me to writing this blog. Your own path is also valid, real… and awaiting you.
That, my friend, is enough for now.
As an atheist I find your ‘you are spiritual whether you like it or not’ comments offensive. You’re basically saying that my beliefs are not valid. My belief that there are no deities and my rejection of the supernatural is as valid as your belief in the supernatural (however you want to interpret it) – neither can be proved true or false and thus neither belief is valid or invalid.
Yes, I can be introspective, but that isn’t necessarily spiritualism and acting on those inner feelings isn’t an act of spiritualism, it is an act of ego, nothing more.
You are, of course, entitled to feel offended. As an atheist, you find the use of the word ‘spirit’ a misnomer. That is your prerogative.
I can’t help you deciding to take offence. There is, however, a difference between ‘spiritual’ and ‘spiritualism’. I would accept the former and reject the latter. That is my prerogative.
As for the accusation that I am saying your beliefs are invalid… well, as a Christian I could reflect the same argument back at you. We simply have different world views. If you are unable to accept a different world view without taking offence then, again, that is your choice.
I am not here to either state my experience as definative or to intentionally cause offence. That being said, we are all grown-ups who can accept a different point of view, aren’t we? 😉
“Disregard such things as worthless and you are disregarding those people who value such things as worthless human beings too.” Dangerous reasoning. That is scarily closed to a closed minded approach to things.
I think these two articles reveal little about spirituality, Tarot, Runes and Ritual Magick, and more about your own journey, its realisations and the justifications you made for certain choices in life.
“I think these two articles reveal little about spirituality, Tarot, Runes and Ritual Magick, and more about your own journey, its realisations and the justifications you made for certain choices in life.”
By jingo – you could be right! 😉
Forgive me for saying this, but sharing my own story is a big part of my blogging. Does that mean that my own spiritual story has no relevance to anyone else? Well, if it doesn’t then that’s ok.
I wrote it mostly for myself. Should I apologise for that? Or is the writing more important than the reading?
Oh, whatever. Maybe you’re right. I should just stop.
I think you are over reacting, possibly because you have revealed more of yourself than you intended, or possibly because what you hoped to provoke has not happened. And I never implied you should stop.
First the harsh bit. If you choose to put your inner feelings out into the ether like this you are inviting both negative and positive comments. This isn’t enough justification to stop, nor is “it hurts”. The question is whether these comments have a use, and whether, no matter how uncomfortable they make you feel, they encourage you to reflect on what you have written.
In addition as the site creator there must be a tool which allows you to define whether a post should be commented on or not. If you just wish ro reflect and provoke, then close the comments. You have made a mistake here, one uncharacteristic of you, of combining a factual report with an emotional outpouring/deep reflection possibly confusing your message.
Onto the positive stuff. Its unusual to come across people of faith like yourself and RevD. This is a site which is relatively balanced, does not preach, is not dogmatically blinkered and offers up open opportunities to discuss in safety and honesty over a subject which has long been a forbidden conversation subject in this country.
For people to be open about their own spiritual journey, even if it is negliable as Chris’s could be, is something that needs encouragement and support. Maybe the issue is that you are the only one discussing this in any real depth and meaning; there is support and a degree of anonymity in numbers. It needs more exposure, more interaction and more challenge, but it has a purpose and a direction.
Finally your own growth and development is evident on these pages. Your journey is plain to see and how you have risen to the challenges and succeeded is clearly mapped out. If you think that there is no need for you to continue this journey in such a way then so be it; but such journeys have hard and easy times. That you can now use your personal blogs on here as a way of reviewing and reflecting on this journey is a benefit to yourself.
As ever though, the decision is yours.
Well, maybe FH.
As ever you give a logical and helpful commentary. Of course, logic has limits… but your thoughts are appreciated.
My last words in my last comment were relating to the comment, however. That being said, I’ve been wondering why I bother continuing for some weeks now. These last two articles were more of me and risky personally… yet, they served a purpose for me, if for nobody else.
But is writing for myself the point? I’m not sure… We’ll have to see. 😉