It has been really tough this last month to focus on what to write about. There has been a period of incoherency through which it has been like trying to beam a radio signal across static.
What’s been wrong?
Circumstance
The first thing to look at when you’re having a low period, an incoherent period, is to reflect upon what has been going on in your life.
As a practicing Christian, for instance, my own journey has taken some unexpected turns which have left me feeling isolated.
This month saw me finally accept and act upon the long-seated desire to cease my training as a Methodist local preacher. In doing this I have felt liberated from the constraints of what I view to be a deeply flawed church life… but I’ve also not yet replaced it with anything nearly so stable. Instead I have felt adrift and alone.
What has changed? Sometimes it’s not that anything has changed at all, of course; you might simply be stuck, unable to move forward in your journey. That being said, in my (admittedly limited) experience, it’s usually a change externally that leads to a malaise internally for your spiritual life.
Company
What spiritual company do you keep? Are you surrounded by inspiring fellow-sojourners, or are you hanging with an unspiritual crowd? Probably it’s something in between… but, as social creatures, our journey is often beset with periods of being either alone or effectively alone on the spiritual path.
The big downside of ceasing regular attendance at a church, mosque, temple or wherever is that you also cut yourself off from genuine followers of the path you are on.
In my case this has seemed highly desirable, mostly because the “genuine” bit seems somewhat lacking locally, but (all unfair judgments aside) it’s really easy to find yourself surrounded by agnostics and atheists who, with the best will in the world, simply do not share your spiritual journey.
I’ve found it deeply challenging and rewarding to spend time with those outside of my own faith. Yet at some point I’ve also managed to end up alone.
Have you allowed yourself to become isolated?
Focus
The most subtle shift has probably been to move away from service and towards self-concern.
All the spiritual stuff I’ve ever studied at some point ends up pointing out that the spiritual life is not about you… it’s about others, and your service to them.
I was struck, while teaching the Sikh concept of Sewa (universal service to humanity), as to how far my mind had drifted from Jesus’ teachings about service to others. When the mind drifts so does our focus and our action. Without action to serve we quickly risk falling into a self-induced spiritual coma.
Even the simplest action in service to another human being can be enough to shift our focus, thus moving us forward once again. Doing the washing up for your partner, helping someone with a small problem, or just actively listening (for a change) are all easy-to-do acts of service.
What are you doing with your time?
Incoherency Happens
Look – let’s be frank: it happens. It happens to all of us. It happens more than once in your life.
Spiritual journeys take us to lonely, quiet, dry, arid places. The Bible speaks of “wilderness”… and most spiritual teachings show us that not only should we accept the reality of incoherency but we should be prepared to risk it by going out into the literal “wilderness”.
Jesus, Buddha, Nanak, the Prophet… all have spent their time alone and facing the opposition that arises in the human soul. Each of them inspires us to continue because they, having faced this incoherent time, overcame it and returned. Radical service was the result of their learning.
If you’re feeling incoherent then it’s time to stop and reflect.
Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing?
It’s ok to be still. It’s ok to be alone. It’s probably not wise to stop serving others.
