Over the past couple of weeks several friends and acquaintances have asked a variation on one of two questions: “When are you coming back to church?” and “Are you still preaching?”
The first question is linked to my roots in Protestant Christian circles, most recently as a member of the Methodist tradition. The second question is related to the first, as I was training as a Lay Preacher within that ministry, but also different in nature.
On the one hand people are simply curious as to where I have been over the past several months; on the other hand, folk are curious as to when they might hear more of my pretensions to teaching.
The answers are both simple and complex.
Church
On January 27th 2013 I was received into the Holy Orthodox Church in Nottingham. This was an deeply moving and significant moment in my Christian journey. In a very real sense, I was coming home.
Of course, as with all journeys, this was not the beginning… nor even, yet, the end.
My journey into Orthodoxy began, at least as far as I can tell, with a visit to St Matthias Church Centre in Lincoln. As part of my studies as an R.E. teacher-in-training this visit was one of several to various places of worship. It was for me a powerful moment.
Meeting my first Orthodox Christian was amazing. It was the most calm of places with the most calm of people. In an hour of introduction to the church I was left feeling like I had walked into home. It is difficult to explain it in any other way. Being me, of course, I tried to push this aside and carry on as usual. Yet…
Over time (something which I am learning has very little meaning in Orthodoxy) I came to be drawn back. Once I had settled into my current school position as R.E. teacher I eventually decided to return. Being present for the Divine Liturgy was an alien experience but another that left a deep impression: this was indeed something significant.
Seeking knowledge closer to home, having asked for advice, I was guided to attending St. Aidan and St. Chad’s Russian Orthodox Church in Nottingham. It was here that, eventually, I was to finally be welcomed home.
And that was only the beginning.
Learner
Two years ago I was a learner disguised as a preacher. Today I am simply a learner. A disciple, if you will.
I am learning to be Orthodox. This is, I am told, a life-long endeavour: “a marathon, not a sprint”.
There is a lot to be said for learning. It is deeply liberating not to have any responsibilities within the church. It is amazing to be allowed and encouraged to simply partake of the Divine Liturgy and experience the services. Each time I set foot in that church I find the cares of everyday life melting away as I am caught up in the scents, sounds, tastes, images and movement of worship.
I am grateful for the Protestants who have guided me thus far on my journey as a Christian. To those who have led me to the doors of Orthodoxy, I am whole-heartedly lost for words with which to express my thanks. And yet… the time has come to leave the cold, bare Reformed churches of the past and enter into the rich fullness that is Orthodox Christian worship.
Each time I come before an icon, light a candle, breathe in incense, hear the chanting, make the sign of the cross or bow before the presence of God… in each moment I am simply learning to be. There is great freedom in having nothing to do except to be present. To receive. To experience. To give thanks.
It’s hard to explain it any other way.
Journeying Further
With God’s help I will continue on this path. There are already many lovely and deeply inspiring people present on the journey… each of them willing to guide and help. But it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
It’s not possible to know where things are going to lead. It’s not even worth worrying about. Jesus himself told us to focus on today: “each day has enough trouble of it’s own.”
My hope is that those Christians whom I love and miss, hailing though they do from Protestant roots, would consider stepping into the world of Orthodoxy just once for themselves. There is a richness and authenticity which was for me attractive but which also hails from an unbroken tradition of 2000 years. There is much to see, hear, smell, taste and touch.
Why have I written this article? Honestly, I am not sure. It’s just that so many folk keep asking me where I have been. The truth is that I have been home. I have been peeking into the glory and majesty of Heaven. I just want other people to know what beauty I have glimpsed there.
‘Nuff said.
I am both happy and pleased for you, brother. I enjoyed many rich worship experiences in Orthodoxy through the Ecumenical worship whilst training. I loved the Divine Liturgy, and also enjoyed the blessing of the waters which I witnessed on my 40th birthday. Enjoy your journey.
I have to ask, what makes you think that they are not looking at the same image of beauty, just from a different viewpoint, and are not as hopeful as you? There is an element of the “why don’t they leave me alone” and a touch of the “why can’t they see I am right and they are wrong” in your writing – two perspectives that I know you rarely adopt.
Maybe the trick is not to see these as fellow Christians, and hence the desire within yourself for them to follow the same route to enlightenment as you have (they might have already taken this route) but to see them as simple humans.